livlife
Welcome to Livlife. Where I am living my life out loud, for all to read.
halloweenYou know, there isn't anyone on earth who can get under my skin like my sister. She truly has a gift. If there were more of her or if she could bottle this ability, I would have probably exploded by now--just a giant ball of anger and sadness and frustration caused by my sister.
Fortunately, there is only one of her.
Fortunately.
I just got off the phone with her (thus the back-to-back blogs) and once again, she managed to destroy what should have been a lovely conversation. SHE called ME to ask for my help. My brother-in-law is going to a hockey game tomorrow night with his brother. They are going to have dinner at a bar I used to work at (Great Waters) and wanted to get directions. She explained all of this to me and then I was to give her the directions. I asked to talk to Chad so that I could give HIM the directions so that I knew he would understand. He's the one going, after all, not her. So brother-in-law and I chatted, I gave him the needed directions and then, like a fool, I asked him to put my sister back on the line.
I don't know if she went and took a for-pregnant-women-doctor-authorized "pissy pill" in the 45 seconds I was talking to her husband, but she was a different person when I got her back on the phone. I was trying to nail down plans for Halloween because we have my nephew for the very first time. We don't usually see him on holidays and we're excited. My mom and I are making him a costume (pictures to come!) and we're trying to figure out what to do. We want him to trick-or-treat with kids his own age and as a result we've set up dates with the kids of two of my friends. We also would like to run him to a couple places so people can see him (i.e. my sister and brother-in-law, my brother, etc). Yeah, this will probably be a fairly hectic evening but whatthehell, might as well make the most of it. This could be the only Halloween we ever get him for.
At any rate, I was just trying to find out if they had anything specific planned so we could work them into our schedule. I was even thinking of inviting them for dinner...but before I could get to any of that she blew up at me. She told me that I had too much planned and that I was ruining Simon's Halloween. Apparently he doesn't want to do all the running around and just wants to do a little trick-or-treating. At least according to Emily. She yelled a couple other things at me too.
Is it a mark of age or more of routine that I didn't even get upset? Granted, I am at work and can't get upset, but I very calmly asked her why she was getting so upset. And then she gave me the "whatever" brush off and said that we weren't to bring him to her house, they didn't need to see him. I, again calmly, said that wasn't the point and tried, futilely, to explain myself. She didn't listen to me, she just talked right over me. So I said that I just needed to know their plans. And she finally conceded and said "we'll be home all night". And we got off the phone.
What worries me is that I have become so used to the way she speaks to me that I barely react to it anymore. I used to get upset and we'd fight...which certainly wasn't productive, but at least I was standing up for myself and hoping that maybe something I said got through. Now, I don't even try. I just let her steamroll right over me and usually just cross my fingers that Storm Emily passes quickly. It has become a trademark that when I see my sister or talk to her, the first thing I do is try to judge her mood, because I know how quickly (like this phone call) she can go from 0-to-60.
I try to be understanding of the fact that she is her own person and that she is very different from me. But, really, most of the time I am so frustrated by her lack of respect for others that I don't want to even be around her. Which is sad, because I truly do love my sister and when she isn't being this way, she is a pretty cool person. Or at least she used to be. I haven't seen that Emily for a very long time. Once in a while I get glimpses of who she used to be and I hope that Old Emily is still inside of her, just waiting for her chance to come out to stay. But lately, this Emily is the only one I see and for some reason, it seems to be me with whom she acts this way the most.
I guess I just wish that I had the kind of sister that I could be friends with. I would really love that. Maybe someday...
Fortunately, there is only one of her.
Fortunately.
I just got off the phone with her (thus the back-to-back blogs) and once again, she managed to destroy what should have been a lovely conversation. SHE called ME to ask for my help. My brother-in-law is going to a hockey game tomorrow night with his brother. They are going to have dinner at a bar I used to work at (Great Waters) and wanted to get directions. She explained all of this to me and then I was to give her the directions. I asked to talk to Chad so that I could give HIM the directions so that I knew he would understand. He's the one going, after all, not her. So brother-in-law and I chatted, I gave him the needed directions and then, like a fool, I asked him to put my sister back on the line.
I don't know if she went and took a for-pregnant-women-doctor-authorized "pissy pill" in the 45 seconds I was talking to her husband, but she was a different person when I got her back on the phone. I was trying to nail down plans for Halloween because we have my nephew for the very first time. We don't usually see him on holidays and we're excited. My mom and I are making him a costume (pictures to come!) and we're trying to figure out what to do. We want him to trick-or-treat with kids his own age and as a result we've set up dates with the kids of two of my friends. We also would like to run him to a couple places so people can see him (i.e. my sister and brother-in-law, my brother, etc). Yeah, this will probably be a fairly hectic evening but whatthehell, might as well make the most of it. This could be the only Halloween we ever get him for.
At any rate, I was just trying to find out if they had anything specific planned so we could work them into our schedule. I was even thinking of inviting them for dinner...but before I could get to any of that she blew up at me. She told me that I had too much planned and that I was ruining Simon's Halloween. Apparently he doesn't want to do all the running around and just wants to do a little trick-or-treating. At least according to Emily. She yelled a couple other things at me too.
Is it a mark of age or more of routine that I didn't even get upset? Granted, I am at work and can't get upset, but I very calmly asked her why she was getting so upset. And then she gave me the "whatever" brush off and said that we weren't to bring him to her house, they didn't need to see him. I, again calmly, said that wasn't the point and tried, futilely, to explain myself. She didn't listen to me, she just talked right over me. So I said that I just needed to know their plans. And she finally conceded and said "we'll be home all night". And we got off the phone.
What worries me is that I have become so used to the way she speaks to me that I barely react to it anymore. I used to get upset and we'd fight...which certainly wasn't productive, but at least I was standing up for myself and hoping that maybe something I said got through. Now, I don't even try. I just let her steamroll right over me and usually just cross my fingers that Storm Emily passes quickly. It has become a trademark that when I see my sister or talk to her, the first thing I do is try to judge her mood, because I know how quickly (like this phone call) she can go from 0-to-60.
I try to be understanding of the fact that she is her own person and that she is very different from me. But, really, most of the time I am so frustrated by her lack of respect for others that I don't want to even be around her. Which is sad, because I truly do love my sister and when she isn't being this way, she is a pretty cool person. Or at least she used to be. I haven't seen that Emily for a very long time. Once in a while I get glimpses of who she used to be and I hope that Old Emily is still inside of her, just waiting for her chance to come out to stay. But lately, this Emily is the only one I see and for some reason, it seems to be me with whom she acts this way the most.
I guess I just wish that I had the kind of sister that I could be friends with. I would really love that. Maybe someday...
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